1. |
Optimism As Survival
04:10
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My family, filled with grief
While I feel nothing but I try to help
Do I even belong here?
Does anyone even care?
Now I’m cleaning out his house
Blood still on the bedroom wall
Does my fear come from the same place as
His cowardice?
I’m too curious to kill myself
Everything passes, even doubt
What I can’t control won’t keep me down
I use optimism as survival
And I miss you (Dawn & Dad),
But I had to get away
Even though I left my best friend
And soon after she passed away
And I felt bad for you, Mother
But I didn’t give a fuck about him
What did he do to you
When you were young?
I can’t help but worry
Is that same blood in me?
I link the future to the past
Is that same blood in me?
These days it seems like there’s no escape
I only come home for tragedy
Like for instance,
A death in the family
So heatwave summer for freezing winter
Sometimes beautiful, but mostly bitter
It’s the same everywhere we go
Today will pass while we wait for tomorrow
And I’m here, cleaning out his house,
Blood still on the bedroom wall
Why am I thinking about this now?
Searching for answers that won’t be found
Where my grandfather put a gun in his mouth
Where some friends I know are still trying to get out
No matter how far we try to run,
We all end up in the same position
I’m too curious to kill myself
Everything passes, even doubt
What I can’t control won’t keep me down
I use optimism as survival
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2. |
Diana The Huntress
03:14
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Two shots to the back of his head
And the wounded
Bus driver bleeds
All over his seat
Before dying in the streets
And then, on the following day,
On the same route,
It happened again
As the local paper
Received her message,
And this is what it said:
“You think we are weak
But we are strong
I am an instrument
For those who cannot speak
People know we’ve suffered,
Still no one defends us
We can no longer ignore
These acts that enrage us”
Diana the Huntress
She is an instrument
Of vengeance
To the monsters
That are men
Two shots
To the back of his head
And the murdered
But driver lies
In a pool of his own blood
And then, on the following day,
On the same route,
It happened again
And witnesses
Noticed the blonde wig
While making her escape
From the crime scene
Diana the Huntress
She is an instrument
Of vengeance
To the monsters
That are men
Where the police do nothing
In a city that doesn't care
She strikes the ego of man
Their blood runs through the street
And then she speaks
She says: I am an instrument
This is a warning to those that think,
We are weak
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3. |
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This is not a tragic romance
It’s a guilty conscience
And I am a broken man
The kind of person who hurts no one
With a heart like a stowaway
On a ship without direction
My eyes see only black and white
These bones are weak and feverish
Bedridden but I never sleep
I’m abandoned property
And why is this the way it is?
Why is this the way I live?
I can’t stand who anyone is,
But what have I become?
I am a broken man
The kind of person that hurts no one
With a heart like a stowaway
On a ship without direction
My eyes are the vacant type
Each night alone is another fight
Throwing phones and slamming doors
I’ve never felt comfortable
So I pick at my face til the skin starts to break
But that doesn’t help at all
Body aches that burn the flesh
Itch at the skin like exit wounds
That come from poison arrows
I have a mind, but it’s not useful
And this is not a tragic romance
It’s a guilty conscience
(I fucking deserve this)
I’ll never marry or settle down
I’m a quiet room in an empty house
I always play dumb and never show affection
I want to be wanted but from a distance
My demons have gone hungry
While I slowly starve
If the body barely functions
Let it destroy itself
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4. |
Wandering Ghost
04:58
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Okay,
These clean sheets are soaked in wet dreams
Stains as markers while I hold my position
Poison habits create numbing routine,
Providing comfort while offering defeat
Have I ever been more than a crush?
A scapegoat for the bored or unloved?
Well, I grew feathers when I shaved my head
Choked on the fumes from the fire and flesh
I’m sick, I’m sick from addiction
And I’m afraid, I’m afraid to love
I’ll never know how much I mean to anyone
Still I scream, I scream and I reach
With my claws, my talons, my teeth
Ruined voice, blood from my mouth
From where the words used to come out
You see,
There’s something inside of me
My fear of death, a defense mechanism
Doubt gnawing at me like a nervous reaction
I am the protester’s burning body
I am patiently waiting in place
I just need to know, before I’m a wandering ghost
I’m sick, I’m sick from addiction
And I’m afraid, I’m afraid to love
I”ll never know how much I mean to anyone
Still I scream, I scream and I reach
With my claws, my talons, my teeth
Anything to keep it together
Reborn from death to become the fire
I avoided growing closer
I don’t want to miss growing old
The cliche of drifting apart
Desperate and alone
Cause I’m sick, I’m sick from addiction
And I’m afraid, I’m afraid to love
I”ll never know how much I mean to anyone
Since we’re born,
We’re built to die
So let us move away
And die of old age
With our dogs
I just want to get past,
Past all the shit
That gets in the way
So, where can we go?
Will we ever be
Who we really wanted to be?
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5. |
Pessimism As Denial
04:13
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Why don’t we ever help those we have hurt?
We’re so concerned with what we think we deserve
We all hate each other and no one gives a fuck
Even though we know it won’t do us any good
We’ve reached a point where the idea isn’t important
Where the currency is worth more than the purchase
And our opinions come from the cheap feelings of convenience
That’s just how it goes,
There’s no sign of hope
Why don’t we ever help those we have hurt?
(We’d rather have our hands around someone’s throat)
Everyone hates each other
and no one gives a fuck
Even though we know it won’t
Do us any good
We’re surrounded by prophets
Who think spilling their guts
Is the same thing as giving blood
We’ve eaten all the animals
We’ve burned down every tree
We’ve done so many wrongs
Any excuse for these awful things
While the armchair activists and contrary fanatics
Fight over who cares more about caring less
And some say, a peaceful protest
Is nothing but a white flag,
While others claim they aren’t racist,
Say it’s just the way they were raised
And they carry on and on this way
While we all remain enraged
And nothing fucking changes
This system doesn’t work
The world is better without us
This system doesn’t work
We are better without us
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6. |
Shapeshifter
04:11
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There isn’t a way
To make this stop
It’s inescapable
This goddamn disaster
Of being anything
More than temporary
We have the company we keep
And the shit we choose to do
To one another (or to no one)
And that’s not going to change
No, it won’t go away
I’m a shapeshifter
I’m a broken compass
The fool in clever makeup
I’m the violent Buddhist
That’s tied to a life
I’ve never led
(I’m only passing through)
And on my deathbed,
Will it be what I’ve done
That flashes before my eyes
Or will it be
What it didn’t do
I was afraid to try
And if I can’t finish
Anything I start
What will I do when I die
Since that’s how it ends?
Will I find liberation?
I don’t want this to end
I can’t lose, anyone I love
I’m a shapeshifter
I’m a broken compass
The fool in clever makeup
I’m the violent Buddhist
...so help me do better
Anything to keep me
From unraveling
And fucking it up,
Before I am done
I’m a shapeshifter
I’m a broken compass
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7. |
Crushed Out
02:15
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There is a motive
Of men past their prime
Doing wrong because they can
Without consequence
To them, the world must be won
Our freedom used for war
Who gives a shit what is good
When it’s so exhausting?
There’s a quiet violence
That exists in my head
These words form a weapon
And we’re onto you now
People are beat down
Their hope crushed out
Your American Dream is a fucking nightmare
They take, dismantle and they break
And offer nothing in return
To a country that has given them,
More than enough
They eat the flesh
Of the ones they claim to love
Bears a perfect smiles
The meat still between their teeth
Wearing crowns like they’re kings
Letting the rest fight for scraps
But you have been wounded,
And we smell the blood
People are pissed off
They won’t back down
Your American Dream is not for them
You are not for them
You are not for them
You are not for them
You are not for us
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8. |
What Is It In Man
03:42
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What is it in man
That takes the idea of God
And turns it into something it’s not?
Can someone explain?
What is it in man
Makes him think he’s a saint over sin?
Control women or kill innocents?
He’s a fucking hypocrite
Who else has a gun?
Which school or church
Will be the next target?
What is it in man
That takes the idea of God
Turns it into something it’s not?
Can someone explain
Or sound the alarm?
There’s another building on lockdown
With an armed lunatic
On the move
Again
Who else has a bomb?
Which mosque or clinic
Will be the next target?
After years of searching
And finding faith,
You’ve used killing
To shape your way of life
So when you’re finally there,
Staring God in the face
Will you see the devil
Looking back?
What is it in man
What is it in man
What is it in man
What is it in man
Who else has a gun?
Which school or church
Will be the next target?
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9. |
Strangled Light
04:03
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We’ve walked through
The black door
We’ve entered the age of loss
We all end, forever
Not everything can be saved
The sun and the sea
Only remind me of what’s gone
And we sit here,
Like strangled light
Waiting for what?
Son of Osiris,
We’re in mourning
Pleading to you and your father
To protect those we have lost
Since they can’t be brought back to us
The sun and the sea
Only remind me of what’s gone
And we sit here,
Like strangled light
Waiting for something
We didn’t want
These cold rooms with white walls
Filled with bad news about the truth
And we sit here, like strangled light
Waiting for all the things we didn’t want
I know I must keep living,
Though there will always be,
Something missing
No one comes back from the dead
Please
Make it so, we don’t need
These sore throats, from singing songs
About the pain of living and losing
Someone
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